Mickey's Bracket Round 2

We've had some great matchups so far in the 2nd round of Alpha Brackets, and the final set of matchups might be the best ones yet. As you'll remember, the Mickey's Bracket is comprised of signature Delt things,  and some of these will be almost impossible to pick between. The Mickey's Bracket was the only bracket where the top seeds all won their matchups, with the closest match decided by 7 votes (Spotlight for Letters over Flagpole). So without further ado, here we go.

The Matchups

1. Alpha Ring	8. Spotlight for Letters

We had letters on our house, but no way to highlight them. So, some jagoff would generally bring it up under Suggestions for the Good of the Chapter that we should get a spotlight for the letters, even though every pledge class to ever go through Alpha Chapter looked into getting a spotlight and discovered we just couldn't do it (unless we wanted the dude who mowed the lawn to get electrocuted when the lawn mower sliced through the power cord to the light). Oh yeah, we all could have been Theta Chis, Phi Delts, Phi Psis or Sigs, but then we looked down and saw.....

5. Yuengling	4. Snow Football

Friday evening before-dinner activity vs Friday evening after-dinner activity. Let's face it here. These were both Delt institutions. You could wreck your body and feel like crap before dinner, then go pound Yuengling in Brother Tolomei's room for a few hours and not feel anything by the time you went to bed. Saturday morning? Yeah, don't mention it.

6. The Beach House	3. Catacombes

How do you even begin to differentiate between these two? One was cold, had a dirty floor, cramped, people peed on the floor, and a place where people gathered to drink. The other was cold, had a dirty floor, cramped, people peed on the floor, and a place where people gathered to drink. Yeah...

7. Delt Rugby Players	2. Pool Table

One of these is some brothers that liked to roll around on a thin layer of green grass and get dirty with each other. The other was a thin layer of green felt where some brothers (and their girlfriends) that rolled around on a thin layer of green felt and got dirty with each other. Yep, I just double-entendred all over that shit. Um....Boom.
Also, I updated the Bracket based on the matchups that have finished thus far. >>See it here<<

Penny Bar Bracket: Round 2

The second round of the Penny Bar Bracket features matchups of some of the greatest things to happen during our time in Alpha Chapter. Some of the first round voting was close, and I fully expect this round to present even tougher decisions for you, our fellow Alpha Chapter alums.

The Matchups

1. Anthony J Lo Bello Golf Tournament	8. SAMS Call On Me

A drunken debauchery vs something that looked like a drunken debauchery even though everyone was sober? Wow, what a matchup. The Golf Tournament speaks for itself. For those that don't remember the Call On Me performance or what Carl's balls look like, it was Delts, in tights, doing an exercise video to some eurotrash that Paravati listened to. Oh, and Carl flashed approximately 2.5 sororities worth of girls.

5. Homecoming Miracle	4. Batch Pinning & Afterparty

Interestingly, both of these events involve the one and only Batch. In possibly the most epic pinning and afterparty in Delt history, in which Dr Lo Bello was in attendance at the "Panda Bear Palace" we witnessed things you would never think of, like Batch's parents playing beer pong. And as is true with all great Allegheny stories, the next one begins at the Penny Bar. Homecoming 2009. Corey Sanders. Betsy. I think the picture above (thanks to Brother Roth for having a camera on hand) pretty much tells the story. Now, the lovely couple is engaged and will have a wonderful story to tell their kids about how they met. And guess what? It didn't involve World of Warcraft.

14. Winning 2005 Homecoming Parade	6. Born in the Woods

There were a lot of epic Homecoming parades, but possibly the most memorable was in 2005 (the last year that Allegheny had floats in the parade). Generally, the mission of the Delt float was to get disqualified, and in 2005 we didn't sell anything short. John Mark was dressed in a cow suit and was "executed" with his head on a grill and covered in ketchup to "memorialize" McKinley's. The best part about it (and probably the reason there is no longer floats in the parade)....we won the parade. Damn right, cause we've got 3 sets of muscles and 2 coats of hair.

10. Best/Frese Fights	2. Spyros Passing Out in the Coffin at Prohibition

I think this conversation on Twitter between me and Steve pretty much sums up how the Best/Frese fights got to the 2nd round:

If you ask Brother Pantilierhwourhwjkfbakjfbakfhs;ufkjsakuhsktes what happened during the roast at Prohibition his senior year, he would probably tell you it went something like this:

If anyone would like to expand on any of the stories here, feel free to do so in the comments. Thanks to everyone who has voted thus far, keep spreading the word!

Otters Bracket: Round 2

The first round of the Otters Bracket saw some big-time upsets, including #16 seed "Bryan Ryan Jordan Paal, one person with 11 years of college" upset the #1 seed in the bracket, "Corey Sanders." There were a lot of stunned people out there when the Sanders quote was upset by BRJP. Here we go with the Round 2 matchups in the Otters Bracket, which is comprised of memorable quotes:

Note: I tried to include descriptions of the quotes, but as I wasn't around for all of them, if you can expand upon the stories, please do so in the comments.

16. "Bryan Ryan Jordan Paal,        one person with 11 years        of college"	9. "Rocket School"

The exploits of brothers Jordan and Paal were well known throughout Delt lore, but the one quote that encapsulated them came from Brother Feitt who once dubbed the duo "They're like one person! Bryan Ryan Jordan Paal, with 11 years of college between them." Brothers Betush, Polacek, and Boboth were on the game show Chain Reaction. Zack first embarrassed the team in the picture above where he tried to use the same word twice in the chain, guessing "Powder Keg Powder." Way to represent the fraternity, Zack. Keg Party. To cap it off, in the final round, Zack bet the maximum amount of money that he knew the word after "Rocket", which started with an S. When the second letter came up as a C, Zack could do nothing but have a stunned look on his face and stutter out "Rocket....School?" It's a game show about words Zack, not rocket science. Oh wait....it was.

12. "Let's Send This to Committee"	4. "I will run him over with a bus"

To summarize the Frese presidency in one quote? Easy. "Let's Send this to committee." Steve, I think that's more government, which is kinda the opposite of what Ayn Rand believes in, isn't it? And yes, the other picture is Dr. Lo Bello doing a Perfect Push-Up.

6. "Cock Block Beagle"	3. "Kit Thunder Plays Guitar"

I actually don't know how the "Kit Thunder Plays Guitar" story got started. But there is one thing I do know. And that is that Kit Thunder does play guitar. As for the other story, one break Brother Fisher was home and had the opportunity to go on a booty call, but opted to stay home and play with his new puppy. Yes, that's right, Fisher decided to play with a dog rather than get some. Not sure if his hookup ever found out that he was cock-blocked by a beagle, but the story spread like wildfire through the fraternity and Fisher's dog was forever after known as "Cock Block Beagle."

7. "Quixtar Isn't a Pyramid Scheme"	2. "Donut"

When Brendan and Omar decided to join Quixtar, they tried to convince others in the fraternity to do the same. Unanimously, they got the same response: "Isn't this a pyramid scheme?" to which they responded (and tried to convince us) that Quixtar wasn't actually a pyramid scheme, even though its parent company (Amway) was being sued for being a pyramid scheme. The Donut story might be one of the most legendary stories in the history of Alpha Chapter and I'm not sure if I can do it justice. Basically, in the days when Allegheny had unprotected local servers, one of the brothers found illicit photographs of someone's girlfriend from another fraternity on the server. When speaking in public about this person, the code name "Donut" was used, along with a hand signal that came from when Brother Abrams signaled for someone to get him a donut at 100 Items.

Happy voting! If anyone would like to expand upon any of my stories/explanations, feel free to do so in the comments.

Chippers Bracket: Round 2

The first round of Alpha Brackets can really only be summed up in 2 words:

And building on that momentum, we're moving forward with the second round of the tournament. We had some requests to give brief descriptions of the matchups, so we'll do our best to give people a sense of what we're talking about.

CHIPPERS BRACKET

Round 2

1. Joe Knupp's 5-piece Suit	9. John Mark Swafford's A-cup

Why 5-pieces? Because 4 isn't enough and 6 is clearly too many. However, the 5-piece suit does possess some element of mystery. Tie clip or no tie clip? The 5-piece suit is classy for any event at any time, and at this point, is something we pretty much expect from Brother Knupp. Suave's A-cup pretty much explains itself. No idea how skinny-ass Swafford had boobs, but he did.

12. Zach Best's Jew Gold	4. Ryan Paal's Fried Rice

In somewhat of a revenge matchup, Best's Jew Gold, which was under constant siege by Brother Paal, gets a shot to claim victory over one of Brother Paal's signature dishes.

11. Steve Hazen's Lung	3. Matt Grashoff's Voice

In the first round, Hazen's Lung enacted its revenge on Joey Tolomei's Alpha Delt program, which, in real life, was responsible for collapsing Hazen's Lung by encouraging brothers to go to the gym. Woops. Grashoff's voice? Well, if that whole law school thing doesn't work out, he can certainly have a career as a phone sex operator. 

7. Gavilan Steinman's Hair	15. Mace Naked

Who hasn't seen Mace Naked?

Alpha Brackets: Round 1 Results

Wow, what a week it's been since Mark and I conceptualized this little project. The response has been nothing short of fantastic, and the fact that we've been getting about 30-35 votes per poll is simply amazing. We're going to start the 2nd round of voting tomorrow night. For tonight, here's a recap of the results from the first round matchups:

Chippers Bracket:

Joe Knupp's 5-piece Suit 27, Chris Marin's Popped Collar 5

John Mark Swafford's A-cup 16, Alex Powell's Baby Bump 15

Zach Best's Jew Gold 25, Jerome Bettis Jersey 6

Ryan Paal's Fried Rice 22, Denise's Hair Net 9

Steve Hazen's Lung 28, Joey Tolomei's Alpha Delt Program 4

Matt Grashoff's Voice 21, Pat Fogarty's e-mails 10

Gavilan Steinman's Hair 17, Adam Ellias' Beard 14

Josh Macel Naked 20, Shane Knapp's Knock-Knock Joke 11

Otters Bracket:

"Bryan Ryan Jordan Paal, one person with 11 years of college" 18, "Corey Sanders" 12

"Rocket School" 19, "Did Zack Accept?" 6

"Let's Send This To Committee" 13, Anything Aaron Ingley said 11

"I will run him over with a bus" 22, Betush's popping sound 3

"Cock Block Beagle" 12, Boboth's "man with a vagina" quote 10

"Kit Thunder Plays Guitar" 25, "Lame Duck Chuck" 19 (OT)

"Quixtar isn't a Pyramid Scheme" 20, "Where's Mia?" 6

"Donut" 19, "Are these girl shoes?" 6

Penny Bar Bracket:

Anthony J. Lo Bello Golf Tournament 24, Floor Hockey Tournaments 6

SAMS Call On Me 25, Greek Sing Riverdance 6

Homecoming Miracle 17, Chuck Yeomans' 3-Day Hangover 13

Batch Pinning & Afterparty 17, Sorority Formals 14

Born in the Woods 23, The Chicken Dance 7

Winning the 2005 Homecoming Parade 17, KKG-Theta Sorority Football Games 13

Zach Best/Steve Frese Fights 19, Rob Utter/Anthony Paravati Fights 11

Spyros Passing Out in the Coffin at Prohibition 29, Hellions at Adopt-A-School 2

Mickey's Bracket:

Alpha Ring 31, Duckball 5

Spotlight for Letters 21, Flagpole 14

Yuengling 22, Miller High Life 12

Snow Football 24, Super Smash Brothers 11

The Beach House 27, The Red House 8

Catacombes 24, Jimmy's Pickled Eggs 11

Delt Rugby Players 28, Delt Firefighters 7

Pool Table 23, Risk Management Color of the Week 13

Updated Bracket

(click to enlarge)

Thanks again to everyone who voted in the first round! I know there were a lot of people that were hoping certain things made it into the bracket, and obviously we had to cut our initial list down to the 68 items that made it in. But that's the fun of the bracket. We're planning on posting the items that didn't make it at some point as well. Voting in the 2nd round of the Chippers Bracket will commence tomorrow at 6pm, so stay tuned!

Mickey's Bracket: Round 1

And now we have come to it, the final quadrant of Alpha Brackets for every one to argue over. There have been a lot of comments and suggestions about what should have made it, what should win, and how things should be seeded. We appreciate all the comments and, as we have told many of you, our original list of potential items had over 100 things on it, and it was definitely tough to cut it down to 68. Given the great response to the tournament thus far, we're hoping to be able to do it again in the future and may consider expanding the bracket to 96 items or have a larger selection committee to help choose what goes in the bracket.

Before we get started in the Mickey's Bracket, we have one piece of housekeeping to take care of. Thanks to some last-minute voting the other night, "Kit Thunder Plays Guitar" and "Lame Duck Chuck" actually finished in a tie with 12 votes each. This sends the matchup into Overtime! It will be up as part of this post for the next 24 hours:

Tonight's bracket, the "Mickey's Bracket" is comprised of signature Delt items. That is, without these things, Alpha Chapter would have been just your regular old run-of-the-mill "standard" fraternity. But we had these items, which defined us as a Chapter. We're thrilled with the response that Alpha Brackets has gotten thus far, and we're hoping to continue it through the rest of the tournament!

Without further ado, the #1 seed in the Mickey's Bracket, the one singular thing that made us proudest to be members of Alpha Chapter and we most fondly think of when we think about our college experience is.....

ALPHA RING

Thanks to some requests from people over the weekend, we're going to try to give a short writeup about each matchup moving forward so that people know what we're talking about, since some people might not know the inside jokes. As the #1 seed in the Mickey's Bracket, Alpha Ring will face Duckball, which won the play-in game 20-12.

The Matchups:

1. Alpha Ring	16. Duckball

Without Alpha Ring, we wouldn't have known why Phi Delts don't need hammers, what Sigs do at movies, how the Alphabet begins, how the Phi Delts grew so fast, what can be said for all sororities, why there are no virgins on the Virgin Islands, how Thetas pay for room and board, and how Kappas get their exercise. Duckball was a game invented by Brother Betush and a host of others. It was a combination of dodgeball and bowling where you hurled a ball of duct tape at the opposing team. Duckball had a great run until we broke a window.

8. Flagpole	9. Spotlight for Letters

The Flagpole and Spotlight for the Letters were two oft-repeated pipedreams that were weekly suggestions from numerous brothers during "Suggestions for the Good of the Chapter."

5. Yuengling	12. Miller High Life

No explanation needed.

4. Snow Football	13. Super Smash Brothers

Winter in Meadville, which lasts approximately 7 of the 8 months Allegheny students are in school, left Delts with two options for Friday post-class pre-dinner activities: Snow Football or Super Smash Brothers. That is, until Brother Panaro (then academic chair) banned Super Smash Brothers from the lounge in the interest of the academic good of the chapter.

6. The Beach House	11. The Red House

The Beach House, the first off-campus abode of Delts during our time was the home of brothers Jordan, Paal, and Pantelienlenselkfnskfjaskfkjsnbfsakjtes. Many good times, including the first time I met future-president Best, who introduced himself to me as "My name starts with Z and ends with achary Best." The Red House was the casa of brothers Brown, Panaro, and Halfman or some combination thereof at any given time. The Red House lasted longer than the Beach House in terms of years, but the Champion House will have to be decided by the voters.

3. Catacombes	14. Jimmy's Pickled Eggs

If you don't know what these are, you're probably not a Delt.

7. Delt Rugby Players	10. Delt Firefighters

No comments really necessary here. We'll let brothers Feitt, Brown, Frese, Yeomans, Kissling and Grosjean fight this one out in the comments.

2. Pool Table	15. Risk Management Color of the Week

Ironically, the phrase "semen white" applies in both contexts.


Thanks to everyone that has participated thus far. I'll be updating the bracket below with some results from the early rounds later tonight, so stay tuned for that!